Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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