'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
