just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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