Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
