He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
