Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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