i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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