You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I lost the right to judge tonight
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
