so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
