best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
