Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
