brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
