So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My ass is underappreciated
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
