If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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