walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize