Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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