I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
