If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My feet surprised me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
