im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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