I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
