yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
