at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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