I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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