btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
