i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
