I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
