so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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