If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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