Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
