Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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