two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
