Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
