I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
