i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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