i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
