Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
