I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
