we have pet lesbian snakes
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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