she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize