How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
