you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how does that bad decision feel?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
