come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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