OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
