A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
