3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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