Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
