I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
