Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
