It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
