I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
not ubering you a puppy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
