i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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