her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
