saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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