i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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