Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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