At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
