I wanna passion pit in your ass
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
