her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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