Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
