Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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