I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
