you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
