Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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