i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
