youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
vagina is talking i cant
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
