i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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